Emotional Rape (Cold Turkey)

Umpteen years later, down the road, the 3rd house from the end. That's where you woulda found me. Finger tips are cold, but I feel as if I am burning up from fever. I remeber when we met. I told my mom about her. "Your fingers are cold. You are in love", that's what she said. My mother and her superstitions... Guess it works the same way when you are falling out of love.
Cold turkey, that's what I will call this one. Cold sweats and waking up all through the night. The emotional overdose had been readily available. At my disposal, if I can say that. My own personal rollercoaster. The ups and the downs. You know, that feeling you get in your stomach when you go over a hump too fast. "When your heart falls in you stomach", that's what it's called. If ever I want to go to ecstacy it was right there at home.
Funny how ironic life is. You build to break. You get on the edge but you can't jump. Where is the fun in irony? Especilly now. Mama said "Sometimes you have to bleed out, let the wounds heal, and try it again". Or my favorite, "Get back up and try again. I didn't raise a quitter." After I got used to not falling though... It hurt that much more when I try to stand again.
Umpteen years later, down the road, the 3rd hous from the end that's where I was. Purging. Cleansing my body. "Cold Turkey", losing the addiction. That addiction. COld fingers, cold sweat, but you are balled up under that blanket. The hunger for that high supresses you appetite. I answer my phone attempting to hide that lump my your throat. Knowing that question "What's wrong?" always releases it. Shivering lips and shaky, sweaty hands. Open heart, funny how faliing in and out of love, hmph... Same symptoms differnt illness.

Personalntrest(Addiction) "Fatal Attraction"

Thinking, if I would have known from the start I'd still be here... I don't know why she had that control over me. Why she could alter my emotion with one word. I don't know where that fiery passion came from. I dont know why I got feelings involved. I don't know why they never went away. I don't know why the sky is blue or the grass geen.
Life loves the liver of it. Do I embrace it, cherish it, shelter it? By doing this do I not cease to live just a little? Wuth that being said , am i careless, wrecklees, and do I juts live for the thrill? Forgetting ones personal welfare, for the sake of ones happines. "Sometimes not feeling, is the best feeling at all" -Jonesy.
Fatal Attraction is what I will call this on. Fatal, but what does it matter. Even the Constitution states that i have ther right to pursue happiness. My mom taught me "trouble is trouble no matter how pretty it is dressed up". She also taught me " You must truly ndure hard times, in order to cherish good ones." Also, "Every well lit room has a dark corner." Lastly " If there is something you want, and it maks you happy then FIGHT, with every bit of energy your body can exeert. If it comes crashing down in the end, you will know that you put our all into it"
Hey mama, I guess your boy has become a man.I don't know why I am so forgiving. I dont know why I am so emotional. I dont know why God chose to give me this gift of expression. I dont know why she can take control over me. I dont know why I fell obliged, happily though.
I do know My mother raised me to be a man A thinker and a lover. A fighter when time called for it. A lover of good times. And the opressor of bd times. A voice of my silent emotion. By living my life. I eill Pursue nd achieve happiness. No matter how much I have to fight, cry, love, be hurt. I know in the end i witnessed the darkest of the dark to achieve my light...

-iJonesy