Emotional Rape (Cold Turkey)

Umpteen years later, down the road, the 3rd house from the end. That's where you woulda found me. Finger tips are cold, but I feel as if I am burning up from fever. I remeber when we met. I told my mom about her. "Your fingers are cold. You are in love", that's what she said. My mother and her superstitions... Guess it works the same way when you are falling out of love.
Cold turkey, that's what I will call this one. Cold sweats and waking up all through the night. The emotional overdose had been readily available. At my disposal, if I can say that. My own personal rollercoaster. The ups and the downs. You know, that feeling you get in your stomach when you go over a hump too fast. "When your heart falls in you stomach", that's what it's called. If ever I want to go to ecstacy it was right there at home.
Funny how ironic life is. You build to break. You get on the edge but you can't jump. Where is the fun in irony? Especilly now. Mama said "Sometimes you have to bleed out, let the wounds heal, and try it again". Or my favorite, "Get back up and try again. I didn't raise a quitter." After I got used to not falling though... It hurt that much more when I try to stand again.
Umpteen years later, down the road, the 3rd hous from the end that's where I was. Purging. Cleansing my body. "Cold Turkey", losing the addiction. That addiction. COld fingers, cold sweat, but you are balled up under that blanket. The hunger for that high supresses you appetite. I answer my phone attempting to hide that lump my your throat. Knowing that question "What's wrong?" always releases it. Shivering lips and shaky, sweaty hands. Open heart, funny how faliing in and out of love, hmph... Same symptoms differnt illness.