Hello, Goobye (continued)

Hello,

I dry my tears. I am sitting here in complete darkness. At a never ending war with myself. Going back and forward over and over, again. I think back to the night when I took that long gaze into your eyes. They say eyes are the windows to ones’ soul. Either you are a trickster or yours is a pure as a newborns soul. The smile that saying that put on my face is wipe away when I think of how quick you were to walk away from me. I wasn’t joking when I said I would see you through anything. “I got your back” took on a new meaning when I recite it to you. God your smile is something that was manifested in my dreams. All I wanted to be was your man, your rock. Then you put me in between a rock and a hard place when you expressed your feelings. But god I miss that feeling I got every time you said you loved me. I felt invincible when you told me all you want to do is”Kiss and Hug” me. I know I wasn’t perfect, but over time I wanted to be perfect for you.
Honestly, did I not deserve the chance to at least try. You pushed me away, and all I wanted was to see you through. Here I am, swimming in memories of us and drowning in anger from knowing what I could have been. Why does this anger last? Why cut so deep? The funny thing is I don’t know why I love you. But who am I to challenge my heart? Did you take me for a joke when I said I would do anything to keep you happy? Why take a statement so serious so lightly. I cant stop thinking of you, an it drives me insane! A friend I was confiding in told me, “the love that last the longest is the love that is never returned” .
It’s sad. I fell for you for the little things you did. But no matter how simple I was always grateful. I felt like a little child. Now my heart is as cold as cold can be. If you would have just let me try. Let me coach. Hell even advise.

Goodbye