Baseline. Purge. Rebuild.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Open Letter

Let's be as philosophical as one's imagination would allow. Let's dump all we think we know and what we so blindly assume we understand. Nothing is as it seems. All of my writing usually has a purpose, and the purpose of this is to simply define purpose.

Since I can remember I have felt like I was responsible for carrying more weight than my own. Metaphorically, of course. Metaphysically, if you like. But like a very small percent, I supressed and pursued happiness that is all to often defined by society instead of the person pursuing. “The right to pursue happiness” is only the right to attempt to fit in and be acceptable by society.

This, however is not an attempt at pointing out flaws in society.

Who are we not to be responsible for oneself? Lately, I have felt the weight more and more. Sometimes impairing my ability to stand, my ability to control my thoughts, my emotions. I guess including that a death is usually the proceeding does not make this sound any less weird.

This, however, is not my declaration of being a medium.

This is to define purpose. Who are we not to be feel? Not to be so effortlessly interconnected like a tree in California, whose cousin lives in Florida? Who are we not to sense the pain of family, a friend, a stranger? We that live in the same world where we share almost 90 percent of our DNA with a banana.

This is not my thesis on how Scientology has to be real.

Who are we not to believe. Impossible is nothing. Possible is just a little bit more, nothing none-the-less. Who are we to be so disconnected. To walk pass the bum, to ignore the starving child.

This is not my plea for world peace and prosperity.

The great philosopher Jagger said, “You can't always get what you want.” And Mayer followed him by saying “Gravity wants to bring me down.”

This is not my playlisted love affair.

This is my attempt to stray away from gravity and feel. Re-animate what I made dormant, decompress what I have suppressed for so long. This is me revealing my light.

Take this how you want. This is not a stale attempt at revealing any dark secrets about myself. If you are a regular reader, you know them all. From my childhood, to my wife's affair. Who are we not to share all we are with all that are there. To bring more people here.

This is not an age-old tactic or a motivational speech about loving one another.

This is my love song. Telling you to love yourself, free yourself. Be what you were meant to be. Fuck society, fuck your friends if they don't agree with your dream, fuck your f family if they feel the same. Don't have your light dimmed by what may be deemed unacceptable. Blacks voting, women working, and space exploration were once all damned by society and today, well today we practice them all more than we do war.

The philosopher Mayer also said “Gravity is working against me... Gravity, stay the hell away from me” Metaphorically genius. Remove your gravity so human flight can become something that was once absurd, but openly practiced.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Almost


But me... I am sick 
A little tired, but mainly sick
I'd gotten lost somewhere in the thick

Of us 
I can't walk away, I can't bust
I'll stay, no fuss 
I'll pray, lose trust 
I'll engrave... Us 

On my heart... 
She's only all... Most.. Torn apart 
Almost purged me from her heart 

Yea, I'm all there 
But most here 
All heart, but most fear 
My dear...
Stay near
Fuck fear 

No wait...don't 
Save yourself.. I won't 

My hearts strung and my bed made 
I'm being a little selfish! And deemed my heart saved 
And she stayed

So I'd reach out and return her kiss
Spread her legs and rub her hips...

That pussy is mine 
So I twirled my finger and teased her in and out of time
And as her goddess relaxed, got wet, unwind 
I'd commence on the entanglement of our bodies' intertwine

In.... 
Oh, baby
Out... 
Drive me crazy 
In....
Love made lazy 
Out... 
Her... Visions... Hazy 
In...
You like that baby? 
Out 
Fuck me crazy

In 
I reached the deep end 
Out 
I go back deep in 
In 
Our love's begin
Out 
Cut that up... Is that the weekend

In
She jerked back. It hurts 
Out 
I ram myself deeper, make the pain worse 
In 
Deeper I go, I want to reach her dirt 

Out 
I want to reach her grit 
In 
I want to let go, I want to taste her spit

Out
I want to lick her ass
In 
I turn her over, pound deep, hard, fast 
Out 
She grips the sheet, scared to throw it back but wants the pain to last 
  
In 
I breached her ocean, became her coast 
Out 
A few more, I'm about to go
In 
I feel it coming, I'm about to cum on her soul
Out
Her leg shakes, heart unbreaks, I pull her close
In.. 
Oh my god..
I'm about to.. 
Shit, I'm finna
C... Almost

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Playlisted Love Affair


"A tornado flew around my room before you came"

I swim in inside your womb until you came. 
We laid in the mess we made 
In a love drinken haze 
You dripped like rainy days
Come down, cum now from lovers gaze 

And 

"I hurt myself, today"

To see if I could heal
Focused on the real
Failed to feel
All the while my hearts contents would spill
Say it's real

Because the 

"Novocain, baby, baby"

Numbed me
Sucked me, fucked me, cummed me 
On me 
Sucking her dry and she came in me 
Tainted  me 

"Tonight I'm giving all my secrets away"

On this day 
I'd grab you be say 
I love you in a deeper kind of way 
Like ocean and wave 
Mis and behave 
Miss behave 
I'll be your slave  

"Hop on the back of my bike let the good wind blow.."

Let me blow 
Pull me to, but don't push me fro
Let our love glow 
Let my love grow 
Let our souls.. Float

But oh shit, wait

"You said when the storms came"
You'd be there to stop my brain 
Begin my sane 
Relieve my pain  

So "where you at"

Where have you been 
All along you could have saved me from the who what and when
Touched me.... There 
Saved me from where 
Rub my back, pull my hair 
Lets fuck-love, in your eyes I'd stare 
In your rise, I'd cum right there
Cum in there 

"I want you to remember me, lead on my legacy"

So I leave you with my legacy
Implant you with my love seed 
Inside you grows a part of me 
And she
Her beauty can only be equal to epitome 
Gods will envy 
I'd slay plenty

"Won't you lay your bones down"

Lay your head down
Give me head now 
Make my heart smile
Like only you know how 
Frown upside downed 
My queen you're crowned 

My heart your zone 
My love your home 
My love your home 
My love, you're home





Sunday, July 28, 2013

Cadence



Have I ever told you that you can fit a perfect "1 Mississippi" in between each time your heels strike the ground
Did you know I don't have to see you, I don't need to expect you. I can tell its you from that sound

Or
Even on a bad day
I want you in the worst way 
The best way 
I want you in the rest way
The put me to the test way
  
Or I can trail you based off smell
Living torture
Welcome to my new hell
But hell
I want to stay  

Lets get back to me studying the way you walk
Thinking of your lips 
Kissing you mentally when we talk
Keep my distance. Never stalk
Her 
Stalker 
I'll give up lock, key, chain, open the door, and walk her 
Walker 
I'll love you until walkers 
Did you know that the other day 
I thought about us in the death way
Old and gray
Even painted on my mental id look at you and say 

Hey... Did you know I l....
Not today
Not this way
Remember space
Remember heartache djay? 
 Did you know...

Should you know
Should I.. 
Should we grow? 
Become one soul
Combine our flow 
Trash our Solo 
Shit mama..
YOLO

Lets get back to your fragrance 
No, your cadence 
Maybe I should
Or maybe I shouldn't say this 

Maybe.. 
Not today
Baby, stay 
This way 

Tonight 
Give me this night 
Fight this fight 

Stand this stand. 
Not really this type
But hold my had
Maybe I shouldn't tell you 
But baby I am....


Out of my head over your heels
Head over my heels
Give me head while you wear your heels

Maybe. Just maybe
Baby
You can save me
Whips and chains. Shut up. Behave me.

Left, left, left right
as you walk in cadence
I cherish the mere moment breathe in your fragrance
Call off your cadence
Swallow your essence
Consume your presence
Be my now, be my present

Let me hear the sound of your left
One Mississippi
Let me hear the sound of your right
Two Mississippi
Screw Mississippi
Let me be in between those steps
In between this hips
Kiss you in between those breaths
Between those lips

Your left
My breath
Your right
Tonight

Your fragrance is
Channeling my weaknesses
Your cadence
Your cadence

Tonight


Tonight she sat across this crowded room
I was over taken by something, I felt like I had to say something soon 

Never really been the type that was full of audacity
But tonight... Her. I had to know if she was feeling me.

I walked up with my heart on my sleeve and said "excuse me"
"I think your beautiful, something about you exudes we"
 
Her eyes smiled bigger than my heart did when she didn't shut me down
And her lips would take part, but wouldn't make sounds 

Her jugular played bass drum against that pretty skin on her neck
Her beauty beat me, had me at a lost I threw out my players card deck

I stared at her waiting on a response watching her lips 
No sound as I mentally studied her hips 
 
I was flying in and out of time 
Flew with her in my mind and she nervously said 

......... Hi
 
Not much but ill try 
No other man has ever saw you in this eye
I looked at you and my heart sang a happy cry
And not to pry 
But I got you. Don't be so dry 

She spoke again....
..... Why?

I said "mama, I'm attached to a light in your eye"
You give me life, make me fly
So lets fly 
Say something you make me feel like a supernova. Star, explode, die 
But not before creating the most beautiful thin exposed to your beautiful eye. 

She smiled. 
No sound 
Just a secretly seductive stance 
An as our eyes dance 
My brain wrote our story with the pen from my hand
And my heart, my heart loved her in advance 

But what do I say? 
Tell her how I am feeling today

What I am thinking tonight?
I could part my lips and only say "let's take flight"

To my surprise 
I saw she understood in her eyes 
She became my new skies

She said "damn..."

I said "shit"
"Give me your fears 
Put your heart here
Dry your tears
Let me clean where that make-up smeared "

Give me your heart, let me make love to your brain. 
Oh and before I forget... What's your name... 

She said "love"
 
I said lovely 
Love, be my eternity
Be we
Love, I love you. Exude me
Love me
Loves me
Oh me
Lovely

Love, do you believe in love at first sight?  
You are Love at first sight 
Loved at first sight 
Can I tell you I love you tonight 
Do you trust my spirit? Believe in my might? 

Tell me so that I might get you to feel my love
Feel my gangsta, I'll be ya thug

Would it be too forward if I asked for a hug? 
A kiss?
Can I throw what I feel off my chest?

I'd do it all in your name.
All so that "we" becomes our mutual aim 
We'd share a mutual brain

Split a mutual heart
On a blank canvas, create a bold art

All in her name. 
All in her game 

Pure as white, you're my drug
Baby tonight, be my love.